Added: Deseree Burke - Date: 10.01.2022 12:45 - Views: 21589 - Clicks: 4473
Go there. Imagine the loss. The Earth stopped spinning. The Sun will never again rise in the east. The nights are grueling, longer then they ever seemed to be. The one person who fills your cup and makes this world a little more habitable. For me personally it highlighted something I was completely unaware of in the midst of my relationship. That I was walking blind and taking my partner for granted without even realizing it. I was so blind in fact, I forgot how precious a gift this person and the relationship were until they ceased to exist in my life.
I spent two months without the love of my life and my family. In that time I grew as a person more then at any time in my life. I decided in those 60 days that I was going to figure out what it takes to be better at love. I read, I sought out those who had been down the road of love and made it.
I talked to therapists, I went to those who knew more then I did. Here is what I learned. The best place to start is right where you are. The two of you are on your own journey. What makes you unique and beautiful is what separates you from all other couples. You, together, have a recipe no one else has. Live in that space. Appreciate what exists between you. For me comparison was a barometer of where I felt I fit into my partners life. The problem with comparing is when you compare yourself to others or your relationship to others you lose To my lost love who never knew time.
Read that again. Love the station of where your relationship exists. Embrace it for all that is unique about it. New love is fun!
Mature love is stable. Trust me. Relationships are pendulous in nature. Change is the only constant in life and it will exact itself on your relationship. Open your sail to the winds of change and let them guide you to a new way of living. Love will be a thing you do, not feel. Go back to that feeling of loss for a moment that I spoke of. Go ahead, think about what life would be like without them…. Think about the things that make this person so special to you. What if they were gone tomorrow — for any reason…. So start with gratitude first. Be grateful for the fact that this person is in your life.
Be grateful that they chose you. Of all the people they could have been with, they chose to share life with you. You only get one life and this human being cares for you. In a world that urges separation and isolation with technology? You found a person who wants to instead, meet you at the crossro of love and leisure.
Stop focusing on the missing To my lost love who never knew. Start focusing on what you have right here right now. Autonomy breeds interdependence. Heteronomy breeds codependence. Heteronomy refers to influence by a force outside oneself.
We get into a relationship and suddenly it overtakes us and hijacks our time and passions. The point is you are most attractive to someone else when you are living your passions. When you perform your passion, you are living your truth. Another reason this is so vital in a healthy relationship is it creates space. Space is the equalizer between emotion and evolution of self. Fill each others cup but drink not from the same cup. Give your hearts but not into each others keeping, for only the hand of life can hold your heart. The purpose of any relationship up to this point has been to help you both grow into the people you are today.
The people who appeared in your life in the past were shepherds. They helped guide your way across the landscape of your love life. Thank them for their guidance and then bless and release them. Looking back only serves as a distraction from the present. Make a conscious choice to see something positive about your partner as often as possible.
Take in the wonder of who they are and what makes them unique. Flaws are fabulous and unique. In the aftermath of my breakup I found myself appreciating the weirdest things about my partner. I missed those weird things. She left the lights on in every room which drove me nuts. But in the end I actually missed having to turn off the lights behind her. It was unique to her.
Taking someone for granted starts with not appreciating the little things that make them special. Even things like leaving the lights on. An openness — an empathy — was necessary if the attention was to matter. How often do you really listen with empathy to the person you To my lost love who never knew Empathy in this context means to listen with feeling, emotion and full attention — openness as Mary Oliver says. If you are not listening to your partner when they talk or share something? You are simply a reporter. Witnessing the act of talking and showing little emotion.
Let someone roam their own world and love them for it. Let them hunt the trail of curiosity and explore who they are. Do nothing more then encourage it.
That is the definition of real love.To my lost love who never knew
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Column: How do we get over losing the love of our life?